The Alliance of Boulder County
on Tobacco and Health
Satire - The Real Gunslingers' Bill of Rights
Whereas, it is recognized that some 2,000 people who shoot
guns die of self-inflicted injuries every year as a result of
engaging in an "adult, personal and pleasurable" activity;
Therefore, it is deemed that gunslingers have the following
- The right to cling to their obsessions of superiority when
they have a gun in their hand.
- The right to be informed of the consequences of shooting
- The right to be informed of the social and environmental
costs incurred by the manufacture of guns and bullets.
- The right to be informed of research by gun manufacturers
that documents the hazards of using guns.
- The right to be informed of misleading public information
that has been promulgated by gun manufacturers.
- The right to have gun manufacturers compensate them for
medical expenses incurred by shooting themselves.
- The right to require gun manufacturers to compensate their
families for losses caused by their self-inflicted injuries.
- The right to sue gun manufacturers for misleading them
into thinking the pastime of gunslinging is an adult and
- The right to believe that children and elderly people do not
need to be protected from injury caused by flying bullets.
- The right to continue believing that people who do not
shoot guns do not exist.
Copyright © (1995), E. Stiltner
- Return to the
Alliance home page.
- URL of this page: